Sunday, November 27, 2011

Welcome Bernadette Grace

Two weeks ago tomorrow Randy and I welcomed another blessing into our lives Bernadette Grace. She is such a sweet baby and Wyatt and Brelli are doing very well with her.
Bernadette definitely "Graced" us with her presence in a way I was not expecting. A week before my scheduled C Section I started having some lower back pain and just started feeling poopy the night before. I got up and went to work on Friday like usual but had texted Randy telling him I just felt off all day. I came home from work and decided about 8 pm that maybe I should think about deciding if I should go to the hospital. I have been lucky enough to never have gone into labor before so I wasn't sure if I was having contractions or not. Randy took the kids to his parents house then came back home and got me. We arrived at the hospital and then I was hooked up to the monitor. I was not expecting to see anything but sure enough there it was. I was having contractions pretty regular too every 3-4 minutes but I could still talk through them. I was dilated to a 1 and they would give me an hour to see if I progressed any. Unfortunately we were not having a baby on 11-11-11, I was sad yet kind of happy too because I was not ready I had plans for the next week before little Bernadette was scheduled to be in my arms.
Saturday I just did my own thing despite still having contractions that were pretty regular. I had refused to go back to the hospital I knew they weren't going to let me have a baby yet. Sunday morning I had been up since about 5 am the contractions were getting stronger and I finally decided to suck it up and go back to the hospital. After my mom came and got the kiddos, Randy and I went back to the hospital. I was still having contractions every 3-4 minutes but I was still dilated to a 1. I got another hour to see if I would progress. This time I opted to go and walk for that time period. While we were walking I felt like I kept feeling something wet at my ankle but decided it was my imagination because surely my water hadn't broke.
We went back upstairs to antepartum and I was rechecked the only progress I had made was being effaced 10% more. I am not gonna lie I cried then my nurse came in and I tried to hide my tears I was embarrassed and I didn't want her to see my emotion I mean come on I was only dilated to a 1 and it was only the beginning stages of labor. I was surely made of stronger stuff than this.
We went home and met up with my parents later that afternoon and saw Puss n boots with the kids and my brother and his son. I sat through that movie and had contractions up until the last 15 minutes it sucked!! We went home and I finally decided that I was going to need to get packing a hospital bag. I had a BPP the next day at my OB's office and I was determined to see him. I was going to convince him to let me have this baby. I didn't think he would let me but I was going beg, plead cry whatever it took to have this little girl sooner rather than later!
I got Bernadette packed but didn't really pack anything for myself. I got up Monday about 100 am and sat in the living room drinking some water to see if it would help with my contractions. Shortly thereafter my two little ones also woke up and came out and sat with me. The kids probably sat with me for about an hour and then I sent them back to bed. Finally at about 530 I decided I should try to go and get some sleep despite having my BPP soon I also knew I was going to have to work the next two days. I went and laid down and cried waking Randy up and he said if its that uncomfortable why don't we go back to the hospital. I told him no I was determined to wait for Dr. Feuille and I didn't want to be sent home for a third time that is just embarrassing plus I refused to have another cervical check by a resident it hurt worse than any contraction I had yet to experience.
Randy decided to come to my BPP with me that morning just in case we might have a baby. We drove separately though. We went to the BPP and the sonographer said everything looked good except our fluid level. I have never been so happy to fail a BPP ever! We went back to see Dr. Feuille and he called the hospital they said if we can be there in 10 minutes then we could go at 11 am. I said I can be there in how ever many minutes you need me to be!!
This was it I had been hoping for this all weekend but also I was a little sad. I still had made plans to have a day with the kids so we could have some time before their new sibling arrived.
It was kind of a whirlwind of events. I think I was more emotional with Bernadette's birth than the other two because I had time to prepare myself for their arrival. The whole time we were in the OR suite I was shivering not because of the cold but also because of the nerves. Dr. Feuille arrived and they got started 20 minutes later out came our little girl. She weighed 9lbs 15oz and was 20 3/4 inches long. She is so beautiful and I am so enamored with her. I don't know if it was because it has been longer between babies for us this time, the fact that everything happened so quickly or because we had so many other complications this pregnancy than with the other two or because I also know that Bernadette could be my last baby. We could be done and it makes me sad.

I think the least favorite question I have had this pregnancy is are we done is she the last baby for us. Honestly I don't know she could be and she could not be I don't know God's plans for our family but until the time when we have decided that we aren't called to have anymore children I am going to enjoy my three beautiful gifts from God and cherish every moment we have!