This last year and a half has been one that I have learned to truly put my faith and trust in our Heavenly Father and know in my heart that it will all be ok. Let me take you on my journey.
Do you ever feel that some days music is God's way of speaking to your soul? I do all the time. More so when I was in college and boys would come and go and a song would touch me in just the right way and I would know that it was all going to be ok.
Last year in September as I was going through a very hard time personally I had begun listening to christian radio. I have always been an R&B, rap, top 40's kind of girl. There was this song Something Beautiful by Need to Breathe. It came on the radio and the lyrics really touched me. "I just want something beautiful" I felt like that was my anthem. I just wanted something beautiful and I was continually asking God to give it to me. I was down on my knees and in reach of His awesome power He could give me my something beautiful anytime He wanted even though I wasn't exactly sure what that something beautiful was.
I heard "my" song on the way to one of my to one of my first interviews I had when I started looking for something different outside the hospital. I knew then at that moment that everything was going to be ok. My something beautiful was on its way. I got the job and even though it wasn't what I expected God delivered. Through the months I heard the song occassionally especially when I was down and it always seemed to uplift me no matter what was going on in my life. It just seemed to be God's reminder to me that even though I was down and out there was something beautiful still waiting for me.
Then Randy was approached about a new job and while it was a process that took longer than we expected I knew if I continued to trust in God all would be alright.
I did and everyday we waited it seemed like one day we were closer to God's will for our family and then the next day it was like we were miles away. I look back and realize I never heard "my" anthem song during that time of waiting for Randy and whatever job may happen for him. I do know I played that song on you tube a few times for myself as a little reminder that He still had something beautiful in store for us but that we weren't quite ready to accept and appreciate what that something beautiful was.
2.5 weeks ago Randy got offered that job and while it was exactly what we were looking for and knew he would be happy there I had some concerns. They are simple concerns at that. It was with a new company and my concern was what if they weren't able to make it, and what would happen to us, and other little things. I thought maybe I will hear "my" song and that will help guide me and let me know its ok. I didn't hear that song before Randy accepted the offer. I heard something beautiful a few days after Randy accepted the offer for the new position, but you know what that was ok but it was God's way of saying "Rachel I know have some concerns but you have been open and trusted me this far know that I will continue to take care of you." I broke down in my car sobbing because I didn't have anything to fear God was going to take care of us He had already gotten us this far.
Today I saw the maternal fetal specialist and of course I had concerns but kept telling myself if my OB was that concerned about my labs I would already have a baby in my arms as opposed to her still being in utero.
I get in my car to go to this appointment and there is "my" song Something beautiful on the radio as I get it and turn on the car. Awesome!! I knew right then that it was going to be ok. I called Randy and told him you don't have to come if you don't want to its going to be ok. He said how do you know. I said I just heard my song. He knows my history with this song so he knew what I was talking about.
You know what it was ok!
The amazing thing is that through this last year I have learned to put more trust in God and that the majority of the time if you are open to Him it is easy to know His will for you.
I just think would I have progressed this far in my faith this last year if it weren't for this song who knows but I am glad it has been there to help remind me of everything Something Beautiful that I do have in my life!