Change....

I am not quite sure when this 

sweet baby boy......

Became this sweet child

But it happened and it happened right before my very eyes and lately I have been thinking alot about changes.  I have heard from my mommy friends frequently that they hate, loathe, despise CHANGE!!!

I think about the time before Wyatt when Randy and I first got married.  We were ready for change ready for our family.  We were ecstatic about the change that was coming we embraced it.  The change gradually came.  I think God has actually been preparing me for the change of Wyatt's childhood years and the start this new chapter of Elementary School.

Before I even knew I was pregnant change was afoot in my body.  2 cells came together and thus Wyatt began.  Change was amazingly rapid before I found out I was pregnant.  I was elated beyond belief.  I knew then to expect change.  I embraced the change, the good, the bad and the ugly and trust me my friends there was ugly and lots of it.  Wyatt was born and slowly hours became days, days became weeks, the weeks became months and the months became years.  Wyatt has changed physically, mentally and emotionally, so has our family, so have Randy and I as has our marriage.

God has slowly been preparing this family for the change that will take place tomorrow.  Wyatt's first day of Kindergarten is a scary, emotional time for me.  I have a million thoughts and questions in my head about what might happen tomorrow and how this little boy that I love so much will handle this change tomorrow.

The only thing I can do Trust in God and know that this change as the old saying goes "is Good."

So mommy friends I know that this week has been hard on some of us but put this change where it belongs into the hands of God and know that He is and always will be slowly preparing us for the change that is coming if only we open our eyes, ears and hearts to it.  The change that is coming may not be quite as bad as we make it out to be!

Perfect Weekend

It's been an adventurous weekend. Here is a breakdown of what happened.

Randy dropped his Iphone 4S and the glass broke.

Friday night after dinner out and a little time at the park we were getting ready to leave and the back window in the car broke leading to a costly replacement.

Randy's crucifix necklace that I gave him for his birthday 8 years ago broke. Sad day.

We had a date night.  It wasn't anything extravagant but it was much needed and awesome.

Sunday- After a movie with my parents, they took Aubriella home and the rest of the family went to Dillons.  At the check out a woman said to us.  You are so lucky you have one of each.  I was saddened by her comment not for me but for her.  I don't know if she has children but I know that I am not striving for the "perfect" family in America's eyes.  One of each gender.  I am striving for the perfect family in God's eyes and if that meant only 2 children or 13 children as long as we are striving our best on a daily basis to reach our ultimate goal of Heaven.

The gem that actually made up for the entire weekend was a moment in church.  Church with 3 little one's can always be a challenge.  While the children weren't particularly difficult during mass we did have a few tiny struggles.  An older woman sitting behind us reached out to us after mass and told us that we have a beautiful family and wanted to congratulate us for bringing them to church because that is how they learn.  I almost could have cried right there at that moment.  This stranger who doesn't know us but saw our little family and how were striving for perfection.

I will take this with me all week and hopefully into next Sunday.

So a rough weekend ended on a good note. I guess that's what happens when you sit back and let God take the wheel.  He always provides!

Adventures in Sewing

I am not the best at sewing.  In fact if you really know me then you know I have a huge tendency to pick up a project and rarely finish it.  I can also pick up a hobby and at least always try it once.  Case in point: A flannel blanket I started to crochet the edges around before Wyatt was even born (4 years ago) is still in my sewing basket.    A quilt I once attempted to make, and my oldest project to date that I started back in college, a crazy quilt bear.  The only hobby I have picked up and been able to keep up at is my cake decorating and I only do cakes for the children's birthdays and for the occasional friend.  I won't lie someday I am hoping my cake and cookie decorating will be a home business.  I am fairly certain as to why these other crafty hobbies don't get finished.  My mom (God love her) is quite the sewer, and crocheter extrodinaire.  I mean people have offered to pay her for her talent that is how good she is and I am blessed by the fact that she does have this beautiful talent.  My children have some beautiful quilts and blankets and nice hats that I am able to pass on to them some day.  It intimidates me to no avail.  I say to myself frequently I will never be as good as her.  Her reply of course is practice makes perfect and of course I have a problem with the practice.  People don't realize I am neurotic about things in life.  If something I make is not up to my certain standards then I will never show it or serve it to anyone.  Pretty sad right.  We all pride ourselves on the things we do in life but the perfectionist in me won't allow me to put out a poor product. About a month ago I decided to make a taggie blanket for Bernadette because truly I didn't want to spend $20 on a blanket I knew I could make myself.  I was at my mom's house and decided to invade her sewing room and she graciously let me have some left over minky me fabric and some flannel.  I already had some ribbon out there from a previous project she did for me.  I only had to spend about $5 for some more ribbon.  It took me a long time because I had to sew scraps of the minky me together to be big enough for the blanket.  After much frustration with the blanket I actually got to the part where I think alot of people who are trying finish a frustrating project get, I gave up. I didn't care anymore what this taggie blanket looked like. I just wanted to get it done!  I finished it and it is about the ugliest thing I have ever seen but my daughter loves it and that is all that matters.  I did have some fabric to make some capes in my house that never got made and this weekend Randy made the kiddos super hero capes.  You heard/read write he made their capes sewing machine and all.  My husband is pretty amazing in that he actually knows how to use the sewing machine.  He even toyed with the thought of selling them. Maybe it will one day come to fruition. So enjoy these few photos of our sewing adventures this weekend! 

An Ode to Aubriella Rose

I love you through and through.

                                              
                                              I love your inside and outside     

I love your happy side and sad side

your silly side and mad side

 

I love your fingers and toes, your ears and nose

I love your hair and eyes, your giggles and cries

I love you running and walking, silent and talking

I love you through and though.....yesterday, today and tomorrow too!!!!!

Happy third Birthday little girl.  We have brought such joy, and love to our lives I am so excited to see what this new year will bring for you!

Life.....

Life has been so busy for us these past few months!  I went back to work the day after Christmas and it has been hard at first it was okay but as time has progressed my goal to be at home in 3 years seems like it is so far away and I hate it!
Things that make it ok...A supportive husband who even though he spends the majority of his time working hard for us so that I can reach my goal he is such a good dad, husband and person in general.  I love him so much and Thank our Heavenly Father for him every single day. 

Wyatt and his antics.  He is such a good brother to Bernadette and Aubriella it makes my heart sing.  He is always trying to make sure Bernadette is ok or make her smile.  The other night he was "playing" his cars guitar for her and dancing around in his underwear (I know but at least he had underwear on) and he said, "Mom, Bernadette is dancing too!" She wasn't dancing but that's ok he is bonding with her and that is all that matters.  He loves Transformers especially Bumblebee and tells me everyday he will be a scientist someday. I always ask what kind of scientist and he tells me a good one.  Somedays he and Brelli are best friends and other days worst enemies but luckily I think the best friend days outweigh the enemy days!


Aubriella....oh Brelli Bean!  She has never been my easy going child but she is still my strong willed stubborn little girl and I love her.  She and Bernadette are getting along well.  Last week she sat and read her a book it was oh so sweet!  I am pretty sure it was a llama llama book.  Llama Llama misses momma is currently in our #1 slot of favorite books.  The daycare will be getting a rat this weekend and she is so excited and eagerly awaiting this new little "friend."  It's hard to believe that soon my little baby girl will be 3.  Somedays I can't wait and other days I don't want her to grow up.  I am proud to say though she is 100% daytime potty trained!! Yay and because of that we got to come off of one of our antibiotics. That is exciting stuff!
 
Bernadette Grace is currently smiling all the time...she has periods of time when she smiles alot and then she won't smile for anything.  She hates tummy time but is on the verge of rolling over.  It will happen sooner than I want or expect it to but nonetheless they all grow up.  She always seems to smiles the most in her swing and it is usually at nothing but I like to think it is her Guardian Angel or our Mother Mary that she smiles at!  I can't wait to see the months to come and what they hold for this little girl.

On a side note and a few days after I started this blog post I saw on the news today that the Duggar Family said they would continue to be open to life.  I have to say Congratulations to them their children seem happy and healthy and you can tell that the Duggar Family loves life and is in love with living life and living their life for God.  They currently have no debt whatsoever nor do they receive any government assistance.
To all you naysayers out there I only say this.  A woman's fertility is between two people and one supernatural person.  A husband and wife and God and that is it no one else.  Many times people ask is Bernadette our last child I don't know I honestly don't.  I don't know God's plan for our family I like to think she isn't that maybe we will have one or two more children but she could be our last baby.  Until God's plan is revealed to us then please stay out of our bedroom and anybody else's bedroom for that matter.  I applaud the Duggar's for being so strong and accepting more life into their hearts and home!  We could all take a lesson from them.

Baptism Day

 Bernadette was baptized on Sunday. You know what I love most about a baptism well besides that my baby is washed of original sin, the chrism. Thats right I love that smell. I am not quite sure what it is about the chrism but I always ask the priest to apply it heavily and I usually don't wash my little one's hair for about a week after the baptism I love that smell so much!!  I used the baptismal gown that my mom had made for my brothers and I.  I have used this gown for the other two children as well.  One of these days I think I will get it embroidered with my and my brothers baptism dates and then with my children's baptism dates and someday maybe I will be lucky enough to hand it down my beautiful little children.

I made the cake and while it was super tasty I used a new buttercream icing recipe and the icing was amazing but it was just hard to frost the cake so I wasn't quite as pleased with how the cake looked had I used a different icing.
It was nice to get together with family and close friends and celebrate Bernadette.  She is such a sweet baby and I love her so much.  Here are a few pics of our little chunky monkey love.


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Welcome Bernadette Grace

Two weeks ago tomorrow Randy and I welcomed another blessing into our lives Bernadette Grace. She is such a sweet baby and Wyatt and Brelli are doing very well with her.
Bernadette definitely "Graced" us with her presence in a way I was not expecting. A week before my scheduled C Section I started having some lower back pain and just started feeling poopy the night before. I got up and went to work on Friday like usual but had texted Randy telling him I just felt off all day. I came home from work and decided about 8 pm that maybe I should think about deciding if I should go to the hospital. I have been lucky enough to never have gone into labor before so I wasn't sure if I was having contractions or not. Randy took the kids to his parents house then came back home and got me. We arrived at the hospital and then I was hooked up to the monitor. I was not expecting to see anything but sure enough there it was. I was having contractions pretty regular too every 3-4 minutes but I could still talk through them. I was dilated to a 1 and they would give me an hour to see if I progressed any. Unfortunately we were not having a baby on 11-11-11, I was sad yet kind of happy too because I was not ready I had plans for the next week before little Bernadette was scheduled to be in my arms.
Saturday I just did my own thing despite still having contractions that were pretty regular. I had refused to go back to the hospital I knew they weren't going to let me have a baby yet. Sunday morning I had been up since about 5 am the contractions were getting stronger and I finally decided to suck it up and go back to the hospital. After my mom came and got the kiddos, Randy and I went back to the hospital. I was still having contractions every 3-4 minutes but I was still dilated to a 1. I got another hour to see if I would progress. This time I opted to go and walk for that time period. While we were walking I felt like I kept feeling something wet at my ankle but decided it was my imagination because surely my water hadn't broke.
We went back upstairs to antepartum and I was rechecked the only progress I had made was being effaced 10% more. I am not gonna lie I cried then my nurse came in and I tried to hide my tears I was embarrassed and I didn't want her to see my emotion I mean come on I was only dilated to a 1 and it was only the beginning stages of labor. I was surely made of stronger stuff than this.
We went home and met up with my parents later that afternoon and saw Puss n boots with the kids and my brother and his son. I sat through that movie and had contractions up until the last 15 minutes it sucked!! We went home and I finally decided that I was going to need to get packing a hospital bag. I had a BPP the next day at my OB's office and I was determined to see him. I was going to convince him to let me have this baby. I didn't think he would let me but I was going beg, plead cry whatever it took to have this little girl sooner rather than later!
I got Bernadette packed but didn't really pack anything for myself. I got up Monday about 100 am and sat in the living room drinking some water to see if it would help with my contractions. Shortly thereafter my two little ones also woke up and came out and sat with me. The kids probably sat with me for about an hour and then I sent them back to bed. Finally at about 530 I decided I should try to go and get some sleep despite having my BPP soon I also knew I was going to have to work the next two days. I went and laid down and cried waking Randy up and he said if its that uncomfortable why don't we go back to the hospital. I told him no I was determined to wait for Dr. Feuille and I didn't want to be sent home for a third time that is just embarrassing plus I refused to have another cervical check by a resident it hurt worse than any contraction I had yet to experience.
Randy decided to come to my BPP with me that morning just in case we might have a baby. We drove separately though. We went to the BPP and the sonographer said everything looked good except our fluid level. I have never been so happy to fail a BPP ever! We went back to see Dr. Feuille and he called the hospital they said if we can be there in 10 minutes then we could go at 11 am. I said I can be there in how ever many minutes you need me to be!!
This was it I had been hoping for this all weekend but also I was a little sad. I still had made plans to have a day with the kids so we could have some time before their new sibling arrived.
It was kind of a whirlwind of events. I think I was more emotional with Bernadette's birth than the other two because I had time to prepare myself for their arrival. The whole time we were in the OR suite I was shivering not because of the cold but also because of the nerves. Dr. Feuille arrived and they got started 20 minutes later out came our little girl. She weighed 9lbs 15oz and was 20 3/4 inches long. She is so beautiful and I am so enamored with her. I don't know if it was because it has been longer between babies for us this time, the fact that everything happened so quickly or because we had so many other complications this pregnancy than with the other two or because I also know that Bernadette could be my last baby. We could be done and it makes me sad.

I think the least favorite question I have had this pregnancy is are we done is she the last baby for us. Honestly I don't know she could be and she could not be I don't know God's plans for our family but until the time when we have decided that we aren't called to have anymore children I am going to enjoy my three beautiful gifts from God and cherish every moment we have!